Identifying emotions is hard. Even when we know big emotions are swirling inside of us, it can feel scary or confusing to talk about what we're feeling. For some, emotions feel like giant wind gusts that dictate their direction of sail for the day. Big gust of wind? Better settle in for a turbulent ride. For others, emotions are confusing bits of information that get in the way of life's responsibilities. With little understanding of how to identify emotions, life can feel out of control.

Whether you're someone who feels big emotions constantly, or someone who wonders "what's the big deal about emotions anyway," emotions are a necessary part of being human.

The thing is, we must identify our emotions in order to know what to do with them. How can I choose the right coping skill, tend to the right need, or make the best choice for myself if I have no idea what I’m really feeling?

Identifying Emotions

In my work, I've found most of us know more about what we're feeling than we realize. Sometimes we question our feelings by wondering if we really feel a certain way, or we judge ourselves for experiencing an unwanted emotion. Other times, we haven't allowed ourselves (or been allowed) to stop and notice why a new feeling is coming up. So, we attempt to block that emotion, thereby blocking out much of our emotional experience.

Because emotional recognition and expression can be complicated by so many things (hello, family and societal expectations 👋 ), sometimes we just need a little help to identify what we're feeling. Therapy helps with this by placing someone right in front of you who will listen and reflect the emotions they're hearing from your story. We may not always have access to a therapist, good friend, or family member who can accurately reflect what they're hearing from what we say. In this case, an emotion wheel or list of emotions helps tremendously.

An emotion wheel is just that - a wheel of emotions! These wheels organize emotions as comfy/un-comfy (I prefer this to good/bad), or in some other intuitive way. Emotion lists are similar and list a range of emotional experiences in columns. To practice the therapeutic art exercise below, you will need either an emotion wheel or list of emotions. There are many versions of these online, but you can download one free from TherapistAid.com.

Materials

• Emotion list or emotions wheel

• Unlined paper or construction paper

• Paint, crayons, colored pencils, soft pastels, or oil pastels

Step One

To begin, find a quiet, private space. Take a few moments to prepare by lighting a candle or stretching, and breathing in - then out - several times. Notice how your body feels, as well as what thoughts come up. Ask yourself,

"What am I feeling right now in this very moment?"

If this is your first time with the exercise, it is normal to notice feelings of uncertainty or anxiety. You may also notice emotions like excitement or curiosity. However you feel and whatever you notice, remind yourself gently that you are allowed to feel this way.

Before working with the art, ask yourself what you are hoping to gain out of the exercise. Are you seeking greater emotional understanding surrounding a job opportunity? Relationship? Grief experience? Or present tension in your shoulders? Write down your focus for today's exercise as an anchor for what emotions come up.

Step Two

Allow yourself to view the list of emotions and bring your identified topic to mind. Say to yourself,

“How am I feeling about (insert topic here)?”

As you ask yourself this question, begin circling the emotions on your list that best fit how you are feeling. Remember, seeing a list of emotions often sparks our recognition on our feelings, helping us put a word to what's going on inside of us.

Next, answer the question,

"Where do I feel this emotion in my body?"

People often describe the physical translation of emotions as tension or fluttering in their stomach, throat, chest, or head. Where do you notice your emotions right now?

Once you've circled your identified emotions, take a moment to breath. Identifying emotions after a prolonged period of time, or surrounding big events, can be really challenging. Bring some compassion to yourself in this moment. Thank yourself for being vulnerable and remember to take care of yourself throughout the exercise by pausing or grounding.

Step Three

Next, reach for your chosen art medium. Regardless of the medium you chose, start working through your emotion list, one by one. Choose the first emotion you want to explore. Ask

yourself,

"What would this emotion look like if I could put it on paper?"

Begin depicting this emotion, as it feels to you, on paper, or through your chosen art medium. Keep in mind that color, texture, pattern, and size are all powerful tools for communicating emotional experiences through art. There is no right or wrong way to engage with this. Remind yourself that what you put on paper is simply a representation of how it feels inside to you right now.

You may notice you need to pause for breathwork, stretching, or affirmation many times throughout the exercise. Depending on your list of emotions, you may need to pause and return to the exercise later in the day, or later in the week.

If you work with a therapist, I encourage you to bring your finished piece(s) to therapy and discuss your experience with your therapist. Share what emotions came up, what it was like for you to feel them, and anything you learned.

Step Four

Once your emotions are identified and depicted through art, deciding how to respond to them may be a new challenge. Sometimes making and viewing therapeutic art will spark insight into emotions, making them more manageable, but sometimes they still feel overwhelming. If you find yourself feeling unsure of what to do about a certain emotion, try

telling yourself,

"I am allowed to feel a wide range of emotions, even if I am unsure where the emotion comes from."

or

"I can recognize I am feeling an emotion and still be safe."

Learning to respond to our emotions is a process that utilizes many skills, patience, self-compassion, and understanding. Do not give up hope if there are a few on your list you still feel uncertain about. Continue to notice when these come up after the exercise and watch to see if any insights arise later.

At the end of this exercise, I hope you feel more connected to yourself and your emotions. Remember to return to this exercise whenever necessary.

-Jennifer Schollars, LPC x The Therapy Garden, LLC